18 Aug 2012 6 Comments
For some reason, I woke up at 2:41 in the morning. Which was probably a good thing, since I found Isobel had dragged a chair out from the kitchen, turned off the alarm and was standing outside in the pouring rain in my full-length wool coat. I hung up the coat and sent her back to bed.
When I came downstairs this morning, I found she’d also whipped up a nice concoction that featured SIX of my lovely, organic eggs, a bottle of steak sauce, half a bag of flour, baking soda and some milk. Then she made a pot of tea (thankfully just using hot water from the tap) and poured an entire bottle of vanilla extract in it and half a bottle of agave nectar.
I should have taken a picture of it, but the smell was making me want to vomit.
For two solid weeks now, she’s been so argumentative with me that I want to scream or break something. She MUST have the last word, at all times. She MUST argue with everything I say. She MUST say “Hang ON!!” whenever I ask her to anything. She growls at me. She has temper tantrums that are all out of proportion to whatever is wrong.
I’m meeting with the psychological evaluator on Monday and I hope to hell I have some answers. This has been going on pretty much since she could walk, and even though my mother and my sister, and now even one of my friends, all suggest that it’s my lack of parenting skills, I’m not buying it. I have three other children; none of them have ever done anything like this. Ever. None of them ever climbed out a 3rd floor window. None of them got up at night, a few times a week, and left the house. None of them ever intentionally broke things or stole things or laughed when someone else got hurt.
And her behaviour is starting to affect Charlotte. She’s become much more cranky and whiny than she ever used to be. It’s making me crazy.
This, combined with some bullshit at work, is making me lose my mind. I’ve had a couple of really long crying jags and I cannot seem to pull myself out of this funk. I have a constant, nagging headache and I’m waking up with my teeth clenched like I’m holding on for dear life. Maybe I am…. I kind of want to let go.
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