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TwitterI’m A Hazard To Myself
23 Feb 2012 1 Comment
I work from 12 to 8 on Wednesdays, which means I work from home that day. This morning, I slept in a bit, since the kids were at my mother’s. I took O to the grocery store because we needed a few things, including vinegar. As I reached for the jug of vinegar, I knocked a huge jar of cherry juice onto the floor. It smashed into a mess. It looked like I’d killed someone in aisle 13.
I came home and started working but these children I have do demand to be fed somewhat regularly, and since O had cleaned the entire kitchen for me, I decided to make one of her favourite dishes – mac & cheese with crab & bacon.
After I finished slicing the bacon into small pieces (lardons, if you want to be wanky about it), I, for some reason, set my knife blade side up on the cutting board and promptly slice open my finger. I’ve got my hand wrapped in a paper towel to staunch the blood and I’m stirring the bacon with my left hand while yelling for someone to get me a band aid.
I stop the bleeding after a few minutes. The nice thing about keeping my knives really sharp is that when I do slice myself open, it’s a nice, clean cut. Bleeds like a son of a bitch, but it’s clean.
The bacon finished, I decided to be thrifty and save the bacon grease. I already had a jar in the fridge, so I opened it and started spooning the grease into the jar. Fortunately, I had some sense and put the jar on the jellyroll pan because after a few large spoons full of grease, the jar exploded and hot bacon grease went all over my left hand.
I’m not going near anything else tonight. God knows what I’ll do to it. Probably blow it up.
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Feb 26, 2012 @ 00:00:26
Okay. This is like a scene out of a movie. Except it was your life. There may not be any ragged edges along your wound, but your day sure sounds as though it had some.
besos.